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How to Calm Your Inner Gluttonous Glenda and Fat Bastard Instincts.


Not going to lie, but it is embarrassing when a man says, “WOW. Lauren, your CHUBBY child just came out. You ate more than me.”

Note to men:

A woman with an appetite is a good thing. Like my mother says, “A women that loves to eat…Loves to…." You get the point. To the men in our lives, enjoy a woman that eats. 

Most of the time, I control my inner chubby child, yet sometimes, she emerges in full force during times of sheer happiness, sadness, stress, joy, fear, love and when there is really good food on the table.

If I do not catch myself, I end up on The See-Food Diet: I see food, I eat it ALL and I end up sending myself into a downward food coma spiral. 

So, what do I do and tell my clients to do when we want to eat everything in sight and ignore that are pants are a bit tight? It is not the end of the world. What goes up, will come down. But, you have to get back on track.

Here are my best tips to help you feel good again:

Ask yourself, why can’t I control my appetite? Am I hungry, overworked, annoyed, bored?

  • Tired? Schedule in a few naps this week and go to bed early.

  • Bored? Call a friend or do something AWAY from food. Take a hike, walk to the movies, get up off the couch and dance in your living room. Do 10 sun salutations or run around the block.

  • If you are sad, cry. Let it out. There is something healing about letting your eyes become Niagara Falls.

Sometimes, the inner Gluttonous Glenda reveals her insatiable appetite, because you have been crash dieting and not eating nutritious meals. You are hungry because your body is out of balance.

Take a look at what you have and have not been eating. Try to figure out what needs to change on your plate.

  • Immediately start a food log. Have you been carb, fat-phobic or skipping protein? Add organic avocado, quinoa and wild salmon to your meals. Having a meal with a protein, fat and carb combo will make you feel satisfied. 

  • Look at what naughty foods have been sneaking their way into your mouth and make a decision to STOP eating JUNK. Throw all unhealthy food in the trashcan instead of in your body.

  • If you don’t know how to get on track or don’t know where to begin, reach out to me. I am here to help you.

Figure out what you need to do in order to bring yourself back into an upward spiral. 

  • Create your "Self Care Plan".

  • Get a massage, facial, manicure and/or pedicure.

  • Get out in nature. Hike, run, bike, walk, surf, swim.

  • Hit the gym. Working out produces endorphins. You will feel better.

  • Try acupuncture.

  • Take a day trip or get-away for the weekend.

  • Do something that you love everyday.

Think about a time in your life that you felt your best. I promise you will figure out exactly what you need to do.

What foods and exercise make ‘YOU’ feel good?

What eating plan works for your body?

Now, write it down.

Remember, when Fat Bastard in Austin Powers said, “I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... Myself.” 

You are blessed, beautiful, bountiful, smart, sexy and wonderful. Forgive yourself for getting off track and create your feel good-healthy plan with my tips NOW!

In no time, I promise, your Foxxy Cleopatra will be back once again in full force!


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